mp3: Half Day Closing

(slightly pointless) website: http://www.portishead.co.uk

As she grimly walked away
“I’m leaving you,” she said.
And I had nothing new to say
Like the 2nd album by Portishead - Armando Iannucci

A tad harsh, but a fair opinion when you listen to some of it. The first album, of course, was derided for being on every vaguely cool TV show and the background to every dinner party of the mid-90s, which is a bit unfair, considering the level of ingenuity of the music. It was the soundtrack to my -30C sojourns into blizzards in St Petersburg, Russia, where it hurt to go shopping. In fact, Sour Times reminds me of that very painful experience every time I hear it. I have a lot of time and affection for the first album. It was marvellous.

The second one? Hmm. Time has been kinder than I thought, though. Seems they had quite a hard time with it, as you would after selling 14 billion copies of your first one, not really expecting it to sell more than maybe a few hundred, and seemed to think total suicide was the best method, rather than more mellow tram noises and Billie Holliday impressions, so started their album with Cowboys which is all half-tone key changes and dissonance. Try shagging to that, Anna off This Life, they seemed to sneer. This particular one, though, Half Day Closing, which my Zen landed on today, however, is pretty horrible, to be honest. I always press skip, because it makes me feel a bit sick. In fact, if I was given to writing about music in terms of what this song sounds like, it sounds almost exactly like a Led Zeppelin frenzy at half or maybe even quarter speed. You don’t believe me? Speed it up. It really does. Who knew? No-one said that when they were looking for Satanic messages, did they? All that backwards stuff may reveal the devil telling you to put heroin in your ear but slowing it to half speed reveals the sound of Bristol, 1997.

And so they played in New York with an orchestra, then disappeared again. Armando had a point, but I think if you’re going to lay into anyone from that era for being surplus to requirements, it should be bloody Morcheeba, with their car advert cod-blues toss, not this lot - at least Portishead were trying. But that’s for another post.

Buy.